Every once and a while you meet these people that make you think that just maybe you’ve been doing something right after all to deserve them in your life.
It has been AGES since I’ve last posted. I’ve mostly been journaling instead. I can be raw with my feelings and emotions that way cos no one else will see that.
I’ve recently gotten back into my photography. I’m so happy and excited about that. It’s been a while since I’ve taken a hold of my camera and really take picture. I’m glad I’m tapping into this creative side again.
I’ve been heading out a lot recently to just explore the world confined around me in the city of LA. So much to do and so much to see. I want to do a lot more. I want to feel alive. I want to chase these feelings and let them out in a creative way. It’s like chasing electricity. It’s a drug I crave.
I was digging through old photos of my Europe trip and found some amazing shots back when I began with my first DSLR.
The travel bug has struck. I want to head out and explore. I want to see the world. I am beginning with the states. I have a road trip on the books for April. Traveling through Route 66. The thought of it just makes me beam with excitement.
Tapping into my creative side really makes me want to blog more. Just so I can post more and jot things down….. To post pictures of the many adventures I partake in.
Let’s see how this goes……
We’re 1/4 of the way into 2016 and I have to say it’s been one of the best years in a long time. So much has happened and I’m excited for what’s to come.
I’ve lost contact with some friends, made some new friendships and have even reconnected with friends from my past.
I’m a tad nervous and scared for a few things, but can’t let those feelings take over and run my life. Gotta just see where the rest of this ride will take me.
Dear Chubbo Wubbo,
I read an article online today asking ‘what would you say in a letter to the love of your first relationship?’ I thought about it and it made me smirk. It made me reflect back on our past and I find it funny that in high school we were in a one year relationship that no one knew about. Well almost no one….with the exception of Blanca and Maggie. Guess we have them to thank for everything that transpired. It was that Truth or Dare game that started it all. Or was it that Taco Bell outing…..? I can’t recall what happened first, but all I know is that when we locked eyes, I knew that that was it for me.
I was in 9th grade and you were in 10th. Although it was probably puppy love, it was love -in the young high school teenage aspect of the word. You will always be my first in ALMOST everything that is expected in a relationship. I grew and got to really know a lot more of myself in that year. Being young and adventurous with what little we could do really was something. Some creativity took place too, I might add. Ahh, the memories.
More that a decade has passed us by and our contact is very minimal, almost non existent to be honest. Although we don’t talk, we still maintain some form of contact through social media; liking each other’s pictures and yearly happy birthday messages.
You found love, are in a long term relationship and he seems to make you really happy, and that makes me happy for you because you deserve it, you truly do. I hope I’m lucky enough to one day find what you have found in him with someone.
I guess what I’m trying to say is thanks. It was my first real relationship and it opened my eyes to a lot of things; specifically learning a lot more about myself as an individual. Granted, it took me years to acknowledge over half of them, but better late than never, right? Thanks for helping me find myself, for teaching me that I was unique and special, that I was always loved and that I mattered to you in this crazy world. I don’t know if you know this, but I appreciated it then, and I still appreciate it now. I never took that for granted. I may not have showed it back then, but over a decade later, I realize that that time I spent with you helped set the foundation for many things in my life. That’s something that can never be taken away, not ever and I’ll always be greatful for the time I had with you.
I’m developing a crush again. Only this time the circumstances are a lot different, and I’m interested to see where this leads me. They say curiosity killed the cat and if that’s the case then this curious feline is doomed.
I’m trying to keep my expectations on check, because let’s face it, when you don’t, things don’t always turn out the way you hope. I have to keep in mind that crushes tend to be an idolization of a person, so I can’t be shocked if it doesn’t live up to my expectations. But this time, it may live up to it. Key word: may. Too good to be true? Possibly, but in life the future isn’t written, so the possibilities are endless.
I don’t want to be left wondering “what if?” Worst case scenario is we end up becoming friends. If that’s the worst that can happen, then I shouldn’t worry at all.
I tried to convince myself that I was going to stop fucking with somebody, but then there I was waiting on them to do something to change my mind.
I’ve decided to stop the bullshit and take things for face value. People show you who they are. We can’t hope that they will change, because they won’t. If they act and treat you like they don’t care or give a shit, then they really don’t care or give a shit.
This goes for everyone: friends, family, dating, ect. I’m tired and done wasting my time and effort. I deserve better.
I miss the days of being young and carefree. No texting. No twitter. No Facebook. And yes….. even no Myspace. Back during a time where actual phone conversions were considered the norm. Back in a time where I had to memorize phone numbers to contact people. As much as I love social media, it changed things. It makes me sad for many of the young kids today as they live in a world where technology is so advanced that they have begun to lose their imaginations.
Thinking of the past made me think of some old friends. I sometimes wonder how different things would be if I still maintained certain friendships I have lost. I’m happy where I am, but once in a while, my mind slips away thinking of how things could have been.
Friends come and go, and It’s not necessarily a bad thing since we are always growing. Life happens, and when it does, we are all forced to make choices. These choices affect our relationships and certain people just sometimes begin to slip through the cracks, or are just completely cut out.
I have always wanted to be someone who had a ton of friends. For some reason, I’ve always associated having lots of friends with being content in life. It took some time, but I finally realized that it became less important to have a ton of friends, and more important to have real ones.
I haven’t been keeping up blogging about my life as much as I wanted, and I kind of blame the Journal I’ve been keeping. I’m surprised that I’ve kept up with it since I started it back up again in late July. Maybe I’ll post journal entries here (although SOME may be slightly edited). As I stated in my previous journal entry, I always start, but never keep up with it. This time, it’s changed.
I’m glad I have my journal. In a few year, I want to be able to go back and read entries and just rehash my life at certain points in time. I only wish I would have kept it up years prior, as I would have loved to read about the thoughts I had in certain situations that have passed and are now gone. They only exist in my memory, and I’m ok with that.
I want to add more to this site. Maybe start vlogging soon. I still have a project I want to do, and maybe 2013 will be the perfect time to make it happen.
So much planned, so little time, but only one life to live and I must do the most with the time i have here. I mean, if I don’t, then what’s the point of living and experiencing things? Right….?